Rejection - The Real Reason You Walk on Eggshells

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People are drawn to trauma-informed spiritual care for different reasons, but most begin the course because they want to help without saying the wrong thing.

Whether you're a therapist, ministry leader, or faith-based coach, if you find yourself walking on eggshells when talking about faith, you might be dealing with fear of rejection or fear of being misunderstood.

I want to help you shift that mindset and offer a better lens. Here are three things to consider as you share your faith and help bring healing to the wounded.

1. You can reduce fear by changing your motives

   
   

   Think about your why. Maybe it sounds like:

   • I just want my people to know Jesus.

   • God healed me, and I know He can heal them too.

   • God changed my life, and I don't want anyone to go to Hell.

   
   

Sometimes the fear and hesitation you feel comes from knowing you're about to offer something someone may not be ready to receive. Deep down, you sense it might feel like forcing an entry—and you're not sure how to do it with care.

Here’s a tip: Take time to understand their priorities.

And I don’t mean listening just so you can fix it later. I mean setting your good intentions aside long enough to truly hear what matters to them. Then you’re ready for number two.

2. Rediscover what a "win" looks like

If you are—or have ever been—part of a culture that made you feel responsible for “winning souls,” I have some sobering news. That concept is elementary. It usually just means someone has chosen to believe in Jesus and made a public declaration of that belief.

That walk to the front of the church is worth celebrating, but it’s only the beginning. It’s not a reason to stop learning what matters to them, because salvation doesn’t replace beliefs. The day-to-day walk does.

So a win is no longer just "let's get you saved". A win is when you can let people be honest about what they believe (or don't believe), and the power of genuine truth causes their mind to organically change.

Now, that is a reason to shout!

Rejection often comes when you have a goal for someone else, and they reject your priorities and forfeit that goal. But here’s the truth—they have a right to choose not to agree with the plans you’ve made for them.

Tip: People trust you more when you know your place.

3. Real power means you get to not try so hard

You can know your place and still walk in full power—because that power belongs to God. The power to heal, deliver, and save is His, which means you can safely submit yourself to it.

It’s important to have a sober relationship with power. Every form of abuse is a misuse of it. And sometimes, what feels like rejection is really someone resisting how you're using power.

Maybe they did reject God. But have you ever said something they ignored—only for them to hear it later from someone else and finally receive it?

That speaks to two things that could be happening:

1. They haven’t agreed to a dynamic where you're the one helping or guiding them. That may sting, but they have the right to choose. When someone violates that right, we call it controlling.

2. The way you said it matters. Tone and delivery can be the difference between trust and resistance. We often chalk these moments up to pride, and sometimes they are. But pride is deeply human. If it’s not showing up today, it might surface tomorrow in a different form.

There could even be some pride in wanting to be the reason that people see the goodness of the Lord.

And in the words of Andy Mineo, perhaps pride and insecurity are the same thing because we fear the impotence of our power instead of leaning into the glorious power of the Lord alone.

Let me tell you this: Fear is still a liar, even if it's dressed in good intentions.

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Conscious Coore is the founder of Flamingo Trauma Recovery, the creator of the Trauma-Informed Spiritual Intervention® framework, and author of Fundamentals of Trauma-Informed Spiritual Intervention. With a background in psychology, education, and inner healing ministry, she equips faith-aligned professionals to integrate clinical care and biblical wisdom for lasting transformation. Through her work with Jesus in the Marketplace, she highlights where Safe and Sound work is happening, even in spaces that often overlook the need for it.

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