When Teaching Gets in the Way: 4 Responses That Reveal Deeper Needs
- Conscious Coore
- Aug 1
- 2 min read
7 Reasons Christian Spaces Often Lack Trauma-Informed Care Strategies
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Reason #6: The impulse to teach
While it's true that teaching gives people a chance to encounter truth (and truth makes people free), we have to be willing to sit back and notice what happens when an intimate moment is turned into an opportunity to teach.
If you’re in a caregiving, ministry, or counseling role, take a moment to reflect on which one of these you’ve encountered:
The Protest: This is the client or member who listens for the points they disagree with just to tell you why they disagree. It often comes from a deep desire to be seen and understood — even through strong emotions.
➤ Their resistance may be a plea for connection.
The Preacher: This is the client or member who wants you to know they are familiar with scripture and could easily preach a sermon on the topic at hand. They often come across as if they don’t need to “learn more” — and may miss crucial opportunities to do so.
➤ Their fluency may be a shield against vulnerability.
The "Yes Man": They agree with everything you say — “that’s true,” “yes, absolutely” — but return later with an issue that’s still adjacent to the core issue you already addressed. It can feel like they’re not listening or wasting your time.
➤ Their agreement may be a defense — not true integration.
The Royal Guard: This client or member shows no signs of agreement or disagreement. They shut down and let you speak, offering little back. You’re left wondering, “I hope that helped.”
➤ Their silence may be self-protection — not apathy.
In a recent post, “4 Things I’d Tell You If I Wasn’t Afraid to Hurt Your Feelings,” I named what often gets missed when we default to teaching instead of truly counseling.
Here’s what I’ll leave you with:
Teaching is one of the most celebrated gifts in ministry — but sometimes, it’s used to avoid intimacy, defuse curiosity, and prohibit a depth of understanding.
When someone shares their pain, our impulse to “correct” or “clarify” can make them feel small, unsafe, or unseen.
Not everything needs a lesson.
Sometimes, it needs a witness.
TISI® trains you to pause before you preach — and listen for what the Holy Spirit might be revealing in the silence.
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Conscious Coore is the founder of Flamingo Trauma Recovery, the creator of the Trauma-Informed Spiritual Intervention® framework, and author of Fundamentals of Trauma-Informed Spiritual Intervention. With a background in psychology, education, and inner healing ministry, she equips faith-aligned professionals to integrate clinical care and biblical wisdom for lasting transformation. Through her work with Jesus in the Marketplace, she highlights where Safe and Sound work is happening, even in spaces that often overlook the need for it.
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