Everybody wants to talk about love and marriage, right?
Let's talk about it.
Let me first let you know, I am not a particularly sappy young woman. I have been guilty of being, however, particularly cynical. (It took me some years to find out that cynical was the name for the condition of my heart).
Whether you are cynical or sappy, no worries: I find neither to be necessarily right or wrong, I just want to warn you that we will have to go through layers of cynicism and background information before I can discuss why fools fall in love.
Picture It: Baton Rouge Magnet High School / Senior year / ripe age of 17 years old and tired of seeing girls crying over guys. I am tired of hearing about people getting divorce. I am tired of hearing stories on how ‘she loves him, but he’s not interested’.
My, oh my, was I tired of hearing the word ‘love’ used so loosely. Anyone who knew me at the time can tell you that I hardly used the word myself. My take on things was simple: I’m not getting married and love is …too much/unnecessary/silly.
Why was love silly? Here’s why: You will probably fall OUT of love eventually.
Why is ‘falling out of love’ even a thing? <_<
I can have a stressful life alone. I don’t have to love somebody to do that. I have to have sex with you for you to love me? Oh.
Mom and Dad were married… that didn’t go well and those who were married were miserable as far as I could see.
Only one thing could save my perception of ‘love’, and that was a grand divine intervention from God. (Although, my expectations weren’t very high)
I can remember saying both aloud and to myself “God, if love really something important, I’m gonna need you to show me what it is” …and so I began to search the Bible. I think YouVersion was a thing at the time, but I was so serious that I went straight to the physical, paperback book with a table of contents and Concordance. …….and I began to search…. and search …and read… and write …and review …and learn that the word ‘love’ actually appeared in the Bible multiple times —no, several times. I had to face the fact that love meant a whole lot to God and so it must not be forsaken if I was gonna call myself a Christian.
I, then, asked God (still not expecting very much) to show me how to love like He loved. The problem was that I was asking, still considering the depictions of love that I had seen. I still wasn’t getting married as far as I was concerned. I just wanted to know the truth. That’s when over time I began to learn that love is truly patient, unlike what I had seen. Love gives time, resources, compassion, …..all things beneficial to the ones we love and past the point of sacrifice.
Love does not stop.
I REPEAT LOVE DOES NOT STOP.
Love does not enable wrongdoing and wants what is true. You mean no lies?! (Shocker!)
To top it all off, I found in 1 John chapter 4, for the first time that God is love.
Now, for me, this was no reason to get a boo, bae, or whatever we’re calling boyfriends and girlfriends these days. It was, however, a reason to learn more and not make a foolish move of rejecting it. In fact, I still didn’t understand why people wasted their time with other people who will fall short* anyway. ………………….
(Keep the phrase “fall short” in your mind) this brings us to the good part.
Why in the world do fools fall in love? If God is love, then that lets us know that love, in its essence, is not automatically romantic. Love is a discipline that is expected from and needed by everybody, especially believers. Turn your Bibles to 1 John:
17 Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness on the day of judgment, because as he is, so are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love. 19 We love because he first loved us.
Perfect love…perfect... perfect love casts out fear.. my question was where can I find this “perfect love” you speak of?! …only in Christ.
There is no perfect love outside of Christ.
There is no growth toward perfect love outside of Christ.
There is no knowledge of what love even is without Christ!
Man’s love will always fall short, disappoint, and hurt without Christ.
But through Christ we have an example of love through the life and crucifixion of His son.
We ALL have sin and fallen short* of the glory of God, yet He gave His only son! (John 3:16). We have a clear depiction of love for our day and times (1 Corinthians 13). We have the source of love (1 John 4:7-8) [which is God and not ourselves] and we, as foolish men (only brought to wisdom through grace and the Word of God), have the opportunity to learn to love family, friends, and spouses like God does unto us. John 13:35
By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
So after years of cynicism, just this week I have finally been hit with only the first crumb of understanding on why fools fall in love...
for the glory of GOD.